Sunday, September 9, 2012

To A YOUNG WOMAN...

NOT Feeling Good Enough: Anxious

---Anxiety usually stems from the idea that you are NOT good enough. Of course, everyone is good enough, but NOT everyone knows it. The reason nervousness shows up is because he/she is producing energy that isn’t going where it belongs. She redirects it somehow and it comes back upon her as anxiety. If she did things that she was comfortable doing or liked to do…the energy would go where it belongs.
---When one does things that she enjoys than the energy goes into the object of your affection or the thing that you’re doing. The less one likes or enjoys what one is doing…than there is left-over energy (that must go someplace.) It usually stays in the body and causes anxiety. It would be better going to things that one likes.
---If one feels uncomfortable being where one is…as she does in the situation of the class, that will bring out the feelings of inadequacy that she has. She doesn’t feel comfortable. She doesn’t feel adequate and/or good enough. She is unable to let go and be free (of all the energy that is being produced by her in the situation.) If she felt good and comfortable being there I’m sure she’d be dispersing all the energy that she produces in a positive manner. But…that is the problem…she is not!
---A person disperses his energy best when he/she is with loved ones (usually those who don‘t judge her for what she does or how well she does it.) I, also, know that she likes to receive praise or notice when she does something good/well. (Because we ALL DO.) And…she will always do well on things she likes doing even if it is challenging and she doesn’t yet know how to do it well.
---An analogy to this would be thinking that my hand looks funny and believing that everyone else has the same thought (which they probably don‘t. Even if they did, it would only really matter how I felt about it.)
---Your own thing, Gustav, about feeling stupid not finishing the test and have the results verify that is in fact…true. You must be stupid (anxious, not good enough, inadequate, etc.) It has been placed in your mind by your mother in your case. All the different reasons I would feel it looked stupid, in my case. And on-and-on. Stupid can be replaced by ridiculous or any other fitting term.

---VERY IMPORTANT - Like mind over matter. ‘’If you don’t mind , it doesn’t matter. If you DO mind, than it matters.’’ Mark Twain and others are given credit for that quote.

---There is something going on in her life that is producing much energy. She is unable to give the same energy back (to the source or a comparable situation)…for whatever reason. And, she is unable to disperse it in a way that would seem positive. She keeps this excess inside as did certain members of your family. Having NO place to put it, it shows itself as anxiety.
---The cure and feeling better will come when she is 1] feeling okay with herself to return the energy in the situation that produces it, and/or 2] she learns why the variables in that situation cause her to be anxious.
---She is very young. I hope that she gets a-hold of this and becomes more comfortable. Right now - she is David and the classroom situation is her Goliath. The only real way to defeat Goliath is to make him her friend and not someone whose judgment matters so much. (NOT the Bible-way.) Find out why her performance in the class is so important to her? Wish her well and let her know that she is not the first nor the only one whoever dealt with anxiety or anything. Now, the good thing of it all is that we have the insight to combat it…and defeat it. Her job is just to be honest with herself.
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NOT FEELING AT HOME WITH YOURSELF IS A SELF-ESTEEM and SELF-ACCEPTANCE ISSUE


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